Lately I have been analyzing the concept of having an open heart. As a recovering "over giver" I had closed off my heart completely to protect myself from being burnt again. In my younger years, I was very gullible and naive. I thought most people had good intentions because I had good intentions. After a few traumatizing experiences, I thought I needed to shut down my heart completely. I wasn't wrong in what I felt, but I didn't know the truth yet. See, most of us think when we made choices that got us hurt; that those choices were made from the heart, but that's just not true. Those choices that got us hurt were made from either fear or simply from lack of experience. Like if you kept going back to a toxic relationship, you probably did that out of fear of being alone or fear of never finding love again. Or if you got burnt by a friend, you may have felt that trusting others is where you went wrong. When in reality, your judgement was maybe clouded by lack of experience. It is our experiences that help us see the red flags in future encounters. Simply put, we only know what we know, right!
Once you muster up the courage to heal from whatever closed your heart, you can start to really see things clearly. The truth is hurt people hurt people and if you actually listen to your heart that's exactly what you would hear. I mean think of the all the times you unintentionally hurt someone? Maybe it was a carless accident or maybe you were just struggling with your own inner demons. Hey, it happens. Its the human experience. What matters in those situations is our willingness to make things right. People often have a huge list of what they think love is. From either being spoiled with gifts, or feeling like you matter. But all those things come down to one factor, our willingness to show up for the people we love in all areas. Willing to learn your love language, willing to understand how your mind works, willing to communicate even when it's hard, willing to make you feel valued and seen, willing to set health boundaries, willing to have compassion when you mess up, willing to change toxic behavior, etc. See, the thing is, we are all going to fumble from time to time. There is no avoiding that. But willingness will allow space for healing and growth in those moments.
When your heart is closed, you will struggle to communicate. You may shut down or cut off people after every minor inconvenience. When you do that, you don't give others the chance to make things right. You're passing up an opportunity for healing and growth within those experiences. And yes, there may be people who are NOT willing to make things right and you will have to walk away. Trust that speaking your truth liking planted a seed in the other person's mind. Let go of your fear of rejection. Rejection is really just a re-direction to the right people, places and adventures. But you must open up first. I believe that true love boils down to one thing.... our WILLINGNESS. If you can show up and hold space for yourself and others, you're already winning at life.
Comments